We hope there is a cash prize for taxpayers who do not become sick with contempt over the announcement that health-care workers will be rewarded, above their regular pay and benefits, for fulfilling their basic contractual obligation. In other words, bonuses for coming to work -- when they are not sick.

For those away or working off a coma this week, we were made to believe it's not enough that Vancouver-area health workers are paid handsomely to perform their duties; now they must be enticed with $300 cash prizes to prompt any sense of responsibility toward their patients, colleagues and employer (i.e., taxpayers).

By 2006, the Vancouver Coastal Health Authority's budget of $1.9-billion must be cut by $175 million, or 11 percent. The VCHA, which oversees the health needs of 1.1 million residents in the Lower Mainland, hopes to save $4 million a year by getting more of its 27,000 employees to show up for work every day. An authority spokesperson said a cash enticement would help workers ponder the all-important question: "Do I really feel like going in to work today Nah, I think I'll call in 'sick.'"

In yet another classic case of failing to ask: What is the problem that requires this, that or any other solution the VCHA has prescribed a cure for a budgetary problem, with side effects that worsen an already chronic absenteeism virus.

Consider the perverted message being sent to these health care workers: As a reward for not feigning some mysterious Friday or Monday illness, they will qualify for a chance to win $300. The terms of this lotto are that they not be sick for six months between September and March, which just happens to be the start, heart, and end of flu season. There must be some very high fevers running at the Vancouver Coastal Health Authority to be come up with schemes like this.

Like a patient going in for a routine check-up, and only expecting a lecture on the need to trim some fat, Vancouver's health authority must have been shocked to learn of its bloated rate of absenteeism. Indeed, it is now clear to taxpayers that absenteeism in the health-care sector needs as much attention as budget belt-tightening.

The same authority spokesperson estimated that the average health employee takes at least 10 sick days annually. Fortunately, more accurate statistics exist. Over the three-year period 2000-02, workers in the health-care industry averaged 15.2 days off. That's 50 per cent more than the health authority's "estimate"; it's 65 per cent more than the total rate of absenteeism across B.C. over the same time period (9.2 days/yr); and it's 79 per cent higher than Statistics Canada's absenteeism calculation across the country (8.5 days/yr).

We can only be grateful to health care workers who, as part of the job description, save and cure others while enduring long hours and stressful conditions. But they are also well compensated, by the taxpayer, to perform these duties. Showing up for work is one of them.

The management experts have identified many causes for absenteeism, along with remedies.

There is one solution, however, that may not get the attention it deserves. And that is to pronounce as shameful, as unprofessional, and as irresponsible any person who willfully breaks their contract. Shame won't get everyone out of bed on those days when they'd rather sleep in. And so, rather than a prize, how about a $300 penalty for every day anyone goes over the national average for absenteeism

Of course, the worst they'll face as union members is a prescription for two doses of shame, a placebo of threatened penalties, and to call in the morning (saying they will show up for work).